Outside set of eyes is sometimes essential to see…
There was a friend I worked with for a number of years, and I watched her children from a distance.
Her older daughter was clearly bright—like both of her parents—and socially gifted. She lit up every room. The girls in her class competed to be her best friend, and it made perfect sense.
Her younger son, Jayden, was harder to read.
I assumed he would show the same kind of brilliance as the rest of his family, but in preschool and kindergarten he appeared shy, socially awkward, and developmentally behind. From a distance, I couldn’t see that he wasn’t yet completing expected academic tasks.
When it came time for first grade, he didn’t pass the entrance exam for the private school they hoped he would attend. That’s when they brought him to me for testing.
What I found was significant.
Jayden’s visual-motor and visual-perceptual skills—the foundations needed for reading and math—were seriously lagging.
When I met with his dad (who hadn’t been present during testing), I shared my recommendations. I suggested targeted therapies at home to strengthen those foundational skills. And I told him, candidly, that if Jayden were my son, I would pull him out of school for at least a year.
I would homeschool him.
I would give him time to play, to explore, and to follow his natural curiosity. I would continue therapy and present academic content through rich read-alouds—so he could absorb knowledge without the pressure to perform before his brain was ready.
In my experience, when given the right environment, the brain often catches up—and sometimes surges forward.
What his dad told me next changed everything.
He shared that he had grown up believing he was not smart. It wasn’t until adulthood that he was diagnosed with a rare visual condition that caused low vision. As a child, reading—and anything requiring clear visual processing—had been nearly impossible.
That history mattered.
I recommended they have Jayden evaluated for the same issue.
They did—and discovered that Jayden had it too.
But unlike his father’s experience, there was now a solution. A procedure was available that could correct the issue quickly. They moved forward with the surgery, and Jayden’s vision began improving almost immediately.
About a year later, everything shifted.
The family moved across the country, and both children entered a completely new environment. No one there knew Jayden’s earlier struggles.
Within weeks, he was seen for who he truly was—a bright, confident learner.
As of my last update, now in middle school, Jayden is thriving across all areas of learning.
So why did it take outside help to uncover a medical issue?
Sometimes the answer is simple: it’s too close to home.
Many parents carry their own learning struggles quietly. They don’t always share those experiences—with their spouse, with educators, or even fully with themselves. But those histories often hold important clues.
In my work, I’ve found that when a child struggles to learn, there is often a parent who experienced something similar. When we can uncover that connection, we can move much more quickly toward meaningful support.
I’ve seen this in my own home as well. The strategies I used to help my daughter learn didn’t just benefit her—they helped me, too.
If you’re feeling stuck…
Sometimes you don’t need more effort—you need a different lens.
If you’re looking for a coach or simply an outside perspective on a challenging situation, I’d be glad to help.
Patty McCarty, LLC
Homeschool Special Ed Consultant
The Homeschooler’s Success Coach
📞 971-515-9760
✉️ homeschoolspecialed.pm@gmail.com
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