“When Learning Doesn’t Fit the Mold: Graham’s Story with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder”
“Graham didn’t fit the usual mold for learning. His quirks and challenges with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder taught me that every child’s path to growth is unique—and worth celebrating.”
Graham: Just Graham
Graham was a quirky kid, and I liked him immediately. He was in grade school when I met him, and I had the privilege of watching him grow for several years before I became part of his support team. I had already taught his older sister, but the two of them couldn’t have been more different.
Math Class with Graham
Graham first came to my room during math in his third-grade year. He arrived with a group of students who were all struggling in their own way. Most of them were the kind of kids who just “don’t get it” when it comes to math. Some still hadn’t memorized their addition, subtraction, or multiplication facts—a common malady for elementary students.
But with Graham, I sensed something more was going on.
In my classroom, I followed a very systematic math program. Each day we had a short lesson, and we also did daily fact drills, then we worked on a set of practice problems. Adults or at least I would roam around the group coaching students through the practice set. At the end of the time frame, they had to return to the regular classroom. The progression of drills was as follows:
- Monday: timed addition
- Tuesday: timed subtraction
- Wednesday: timed multiplication
- Thursday: timed division (or review, until they were ready)
- Friday: hands-on activities—cooking, measuring, art with symmetry, or projects that tied math vocabulary to pictures.
Alongside this, we worked through Times Tables the Fun Way, a program with silly stories and pictures for each multiplication fact. Many of the students were making great progress. Graham, however, remained a puzzle.
(As part of their therapy, the students also copied a piece of a Bible verse daily—an exercise in both handwriting and memory.)
Graham’s Quirks
For Graham, every math problem had to be written out for him before he could even begin. His parents affectionately called him their “doop-dee-dooer,” because he moved slowly through every task in life. To them, that was simply “who Graham is.”
But as his teacher, I couldn’t help but worry. Was his slowness something more than personality?
We began systematic testing, collecting data, and trying interventions. Eventually, we referred Graham to the local public school for evaluation.
The Search for Answers
The evaluation process stretched on. The more testing they did, the more they wanted additional testing. Graham didn’t fit neatly into any category. He was a very different kind of learner.
The conclusion? He was “just Graham.”
The evaluators noted traits consistent with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD):
- Memory gaps: things he learned sometimes seemed to vanish into “holes.”
Quirky social behaviors: not unusual with FASD.
Uneven learning profile: strong in some areas, absent in others. - Slow processing speed: consistent with brain injury.
Since Graham was adopted, and his birth mother had lost custody due to substance abuse, the diagnosis made sense.
But when I asked, “So how do we teach Graham?” the specialists didn’t suggest anything new. Most of the strategies they recommended were ones I had already been trying.
Our Beloved Graham
Graham never fit the mold, and maybe that was the point. He was uniquely himself. Quirky. Slow-moving. Sometimes forgetful. Always endearing.
“Just Graham.”
Graham reminded me that teaching isn’t about fitting children into a mold—it’s about discovering who they are and finding ways to help them thrive. If you’re walking alongside a child with learning differences, you may feel the same mix of love and uncertainty I once felt with Graham. That’s why I offer consultations for families and educators—to come alongside you with practical strategies, encouragement, and hope.
🌱 If Graham’s story reminds you of a student you love, I’d be honored to help. I offer consultation for families and educators who want to better understand and support students with unique learning needs. You can reach me at: homeschoolspecialed.com or 971-515-9760!